And then there were none

Grandparents - truly great and involved grandparents - are such an amazing gift. My parents are this type of grandparents to Logan. He delights in them. They attend his activities like gymnastics and soccer. He misses them when they are not there.

My Granpa Leo died this past weekend. His loss, following so closely on the heels of the loss of my Grandpa George, has compounded my grief and somehow multiplied it. The phrase grief-stricken holds meaning for me in a way I previously never understood.

I find myself almost unable to handle memories of my grandfathers. I am holding them at bay lest the floodgates open and the pain tumble out (along with the tears).

Logan has faced this latest news with a large amount of fear and sadness. He had not seen Grandpa George since the summer but he had seen "Guido" just a few weeks ago when we were last home. When I told him Guido died, he replied "But I loved him so much." If only this were the antidote...

Shortly after telling Logan, we drove my dad, his grandfather, to the airport. Logan became convinced that his grandpa was never coming back. Demonstrating the beauty and simplicity of three year old logic, Logan thinks you take a plane to get to Heaven (as everyone takes planes to travel to faraway places).

More than anything, these losses have me thinking about the genuine magic of grandparents. My grandparents have always been magical. Happy and wondrous people who filled my life with joy and love. Even as I became an adult, and realized their human-ness, I was also struck by how remarkable my grandparents are as people. I have been so fortunate to have been 30 and still have all of my grandparents. But, now, in the course of 1 month, I have no grandfathers. I am grief-stricken.

But sweet Logan is still in that magical place where grandparents hold the keys to joy and love. His Nana and Grandpa signify safety, fun, laughter and guaranteed trips to the park. He knows they are there for him. It is an irreplaceable gift. One that I have known my whole life up to this moment. I can only hope that Logan is so blessed as to be 30 years old before he loses a grandparent.

So, to my lovely grandpa Leo, I will honor your memory by reminding my son to be grateful for his grandfather. To not take his presence for granted. To take advantage of every opportunity to know him well.

My grandfather was funny and kind. He knew how to encourage me to have faith in my own beliefs and stand up for them. He was brave especially in the end. He allowed us to be mischievious and use our imaginations to build worlds in the basement. And, he grumbled delightedly at us for messing up his hair. He was the ultimate purveyor of treats, purchasing Strawberry Shortcake cereal and accompanying us on trips for candy to the Red Rooster. He was so grateful for all of us and saw beauty in his family, particularly when we all came together. He loved my grandmother deeply for 63 years. We should all be so fortunate as to have magical grandfathers like mine.